11 Steps to Release Resistance and Make Positive Changes

What often happens when we open ourselves to life shifts? We meet our resistance up close and personally.


Sometimes our resistance hides in the shadows. We don’t know why we are blocked at every corner when we’re doing the right things, taking the suggested action steps the experts tell us. Yet, we find ourselves stuck in a holding pattern.

One possible reason is you are doing something for the wrong reason or in the wrong season. That doesn’t mean it’s bad, just that you need to get clear on what the right thing is for you. Ideas can seem right and sensible, like success in the making.

The next level of that is you did the right things, despite it not being the best fit for you, and you are successful with it. But you don’t feel happiness.

Now you are asking yourself: What’s the deal? What’s in my way?

Whether or not we experience our internal resistance immediately, it lurks in the shadows inviting us to take an easier road. Whatever that means.

As I write, the phrase ‘Familiarity breeds contempt’ pops into my head. That idea pairs well with ‘The grass is greener on the other side.’

You know that surge of energy you get when you are ready to tackle something big, bold, and audacious? When is it matched with a sense of shrinking and the urge to hide? That’s the time to pay close attention.


Sometimes when we sit in our suffering and illusions, we get moments of clarity. Those old habitual ways of thinking and doing are no longer comfortable. But seeing through your illusions isn’t always enough to break it down. As we butt up against limiting beliefs, old habits, and conditioning, we push into uncertain territory. And it’s exhausting, maddening. It’s easier for our brains and systems to keep things the same.

Then there’s the type of resistance we can’t pinpoint. That niggling sense something isn’t right with our new plans. The opposition comes out sideways in unskillful decisions, illness, pain, depression, or anxiety.


Change brings out a sneaky aspect of ego and emotion. The parts of us that rear up are the ego aspects that don’t want to change, have new experiences, or aren’t sure we can have a positive new way of being. And so we sabotage ourselves, or at the very least, get in the way of the goodness that is waiting for us.

What are some of the fibs and lies we tell ourselves?

  1. If it is meant to be, I should have all the answers and a clear map to get from A to B.
  2. I’m not cut out for it. I can’t reach that level of excellence or joy or abundance.
  3. If it’s meant to be, it will all just fall into place, otherwise, it isn’t my destiny.


Now you’ve seen the falsehoods you’ve sold yourself. What to do about it? Letting go of these things can happen in the snap of your fingers, or you can drag it out. Which would you prefer? There is no rule as to how long it takes to let go. Poof. That’s how quick it can be. Sure, you may revisit it. But think of it like this.

A prisoner was chained to a large rock for many years. Each day, food and drink get delivered to the prisoner, but nobody visits. Then one day, she looks into the shredded pocket of her tattered shirt. Something shiny glints from inside. She reaches in with her hands bound in chains to pull out a slim metal key. Was it there all along? Inserting the key into the padlock that keeps the chains wrapped around her, it unlatches with a satisfying click. The chain falls away. She is free. In an instant.

Does she put the chains back on? Or does she enjoy her freedom to move on?

#giveyourselfpermission #norules


  1. Energy work. Quantum-Touch. Reiki. Chakra clearing. Sound healing. Modalities and methods that help you break down walls, let go, release stuck energy, relax, and feel whole.
  2. Movement…take a walk, do some stretches, ride a bike, dance in the living room.
  3. Play. Yep. Play. I’ll leave you to figure that out. I bet when you read “play” something immediately popped into your head. Do that.
  4. Rest. Lounge on the couch. Look at the ceiling. Sky-gaze. Nap.
  5. Massage and acupuncture.
  6. Meditation, yoga, and breathwork.
  7. Herbal teas, tinctures, and such. Essential oils and aromatherapy work wonders to support you during change.
  8. Good food and supplements.
  9. Art and creative fun like music, act, dance, paint, lathework, sculpture (Play-Do counts!), cross-stitch, bead, stamp, whatever floats your boat!
  10. Journaling. Oh yeah, there’s nothing like getting it out on the page to clear your mind from the static and noise. (need some prompts? Check out my books (link to book page).
  11. Take small steps into the changes in your life. You don’t climb the mountain in one step. Release the need to change everything at one time. Instead, do what you can do in this moment.

What are the ways you’ve found most effective to navigate times of shift and change in your life? How has supporting yourself with good self-care made things flow easier as you became a new you in the past?

I’d love to hear about what is working for you. And what isn’t. If you are ready to release resistance and get unstuck, then let’s book a free 30-minute consultation. Go to: bookme.name/purelightproject

Be well!

Andrea Mai | “The one who cries with joy when she opens a thesaurus.”